I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your cock deserves a montage
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
