Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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