As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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