I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
