It's Friday. Sex?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
