we're chasing vodka with high fives
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
