Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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