how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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