pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
