The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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