Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
