..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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