I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize