you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
