Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
