I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
