look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
