$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
