i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
