Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
