i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
