you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I party with great urgency now.
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