I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
