why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
