So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
