I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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