genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
