my vag is so smooth its legendary
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
