All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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