Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You work out of a Hotel?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
