Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize