Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
