So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
