i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
