We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
