Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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