I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
