She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
this will be a night to untag.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
