erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
