you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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