I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
