got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
