Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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