sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
