How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
