Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
