Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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