How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She said her name was "party"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
