This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
