There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
