We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
