i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
