I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
