This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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