Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can you bring me the toilet please
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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