Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize