Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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