I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
