having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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