Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
