Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
