remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
