the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
