I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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