I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
