Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just want to make out with him forever
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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