Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He shit in the fireplace
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
