how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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