Only a mothe r could love this liver
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
