We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
